![Making friends as an introvert](https://quietmovements.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/Making-friends-as-an-introvert-750x420.webp)
Friendship is that basic human connection that all of us yearn for. I mean we all want a person who just gets us on another level, someone we can share our interests with, and one who matches our vibe! Making friends is a skill that comes naturally to some people, whereas some might have to make effort for it. Extroverts make friends even on their way back home from their work, while many introverts struggle to make friends even in their workplace.
Introverts can make new friends by
- Joining a club or group that meets their interests
- Taking a class or workshop on something they’re interested in
- Volunteering for a cause they believe in
- Going to social events where they know at least one person
- Starting an online conversation with someone they find interesting
- Meeting up with friends of friends
What does the research say?
Research indicated that in contrast to 68% of Extroverted personalities, just 27% of Introverted personalities claim to actively pursue new friendships.
Contrary to the popular belief that introverts don’t want to be around people, we crave human connection just like others. It’s just we have different needs regarding our relationships.
I mean it’s not like I don’t want any people around me, it’s just I want to be around them sometime but not all the time. I want my own time to recharge and refresh.
Why do Introverts dread making new friends?
Introvert personalities are designed in a way that they mostly find peace in their solitude. As Introverts love to spend time alone which makes it hard for them to make new friends. There may be numerous reasons why introverts deem it arduous to make new friends.
· Most of the time introverts shy away from making new friends due to fear of making the first move.
· Introverts have to make an effort to move out of their comfort zone for striking up a conversation with a stranger.
· Introverts have different expectations from their relationships. They want the connection, but also their personal space.
· Socializing is draining for introverts due to their limited social energy. If they’re around people for too long, it leads them to experience introvert exhaustion.
· Fear of awkward interaction might hinder an introvert to initiate a conversation.
· As introverts are more empathic towards everyone, they sense energies. And some people are energy suckers, so we may feel drained after interacting with them.
How Introverts see friendships
As most introverts shy away from making friends first, most of the time they’re approached by extroverts. In my case, an extrovert found me, adopted me, and now we’re best friends! Being friends with an extrovert feels like being on a roller coaster. Sometimes they understand all your shy, non-socializing phases, and sometimes they push you out of your comfort zone to match their energy level.
Being an introvert is like you do want to make plans with your friends and after giving them a go-ahead, you’ll regret making them in the first place. Saying yes to the instant plans in peer pressure is another issue we face in our friendships because God forbid if we say ‘NO’ to someone, our world would fall apart. We would like to plan our meetups and would always panic about an instant “Hey are you free this evening? Let’s meet up.” text. And let’s be honest, we all are guilty of getting unique happiness when our plans get canceled by another friend because we already didn’t want to go! Now we’d put on our PJs and munch on snacks while enjoying our favorite shows in our solitude!
Difference between Introvert and Extrovert friendships
Introvert friendships slightly differ from extrovert ones. The way they approach people and maintain their bonds vary to a great extent. The differences might seem like
· Introverts prefer to have one-on-one time with their friends where they can only focus on the person they’re interacting with, whereas extroverts love to socialize in groups where their social batteries are fueled up.
· Introverts are regarded as people who speak less, but in reality, they’re just particular about conversations. Furthermore, they talk when it’s a matter of interest to them. Indulge them in their favorite topic and see them talking for hours! Whereas extroverts could engage in many conversations on any topic.
· Introverts can connect with very few friends on a deeper level and hold these bonds extremely close to their hearts. Whereas, extroverts are more informal in this regard and tend to make a variety of friendships feel important and special.
· Introverts are generally taken as shy people, but that’s not true in every scenario. When they’re with people who match their vibe, they’re the most lively and fun people to interact with. Their vibe tribe brings out the best in them.
· On the other hand, extroverts are more outdoorsy, party and trips kinda people who take the hand of their introverted friends and take them out of their comfort zone along with them.
There is also a very interesting term you might be interested in learning it is known as an introverted extrovert.
How to make more friends as an Introvert
If you’re an introvert seeking to make friends and finding clues to make it work, we got you sorted out. Here are a few tips to find and match your vibe tribe!
1- A little smile goes a long way!
![Introvert Girl Smiling](https://quietmovements.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/smiling-woman-in-red-sweater-looking-away-over-gray-background-SBI-302825108-2.webp)
The power of a smile should never be taken lightly. Introverts are mostly mistaken as rude people because of their ‘resting bitch face’ look, whereas we’re just sitting there contemplating life while staring into space. That creates a hindrance for introverts making friends easily because people mistake you as unapproachable. If you feel like you couldn’t initiate a conversation first, just put that beautiful smile on and it will make you look approachable, and depicts your inclination to involve in the communication. Put up that beam of light on your face and voila, people discover your inner magnificent and fascinating self!
2- Work on the body language
![](https://quietmovements.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/portrait-of-successful-businesswoman-entrepreneur-at-busy-startup-office-SBI-322628855.webp)
Body language expresses a great deal of your willingness to interact with others. Open postures such as head straight up, sitting straight, and more soft facial expressions communicate welcoming behavior and give others the idea that you’re easily approachable. Whereas closed body postures like crossing your arms, keeping rigid facial expressions, or giving a stern look will keep people at a distance from you. So, consciously work on giving a welcoming and approachable look and people will be drawn toward you.
3- Find shared interests/activities
![Group of people hiking](https://quietmovements.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/hiking-scene-with-silhouette-people-walking-SBI-301086155.webp)
There are people out there having similar interests as you. You don’t have to alter your interests to befriend people. Just seek out people sharing the same interests, hobbies, or activities with you that’ll create more meaningful bonds. Introverts can meet new people and make friends.
Mostly introverts share similar interests such as
- Hiking
- Library visits
- Art classes
- Singing classes
4- Be authentic to your original self
![authentic introvert girl thinking](https://quietmovements.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/thinking-business-woman-smiling-and-looking-up-at-copy-space-over-white-background-SBI-302735541.webp)
Introverts have always been imposed to behave like extroverts, forced to go outside and socialize more or blend in with people, just to maintain the façade that it’s the extrovert’s world out there. But you don’t have to put yourself in the position where you lose connection with your original self and pretend to be extra social which will lead you in a more draining loop. Be your own reflective, focused, self-sufficient introvert being and find people within your spectrum of qualities.
5- Rekindle the old connections
![introvert with group of friends](https://quietmovements.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/laughing-friends-making-selfie-on-the-beach-SBI-325331446.webp)
Do you remember an old friend with whom you shared a great bond and the connection faded over time? Be it their busy schedule or your thoughts of not bothering them lead to the distance. Because sometimes our friends get busy with their schedules, and as introverts tend to not become a burden on other people, they kind of drift apart from their friends. Well, it’s time to revive that friendship by just initiating a conversation, because it’s never too late to catch up with the old pals again! How about dropping a text asking how they’re doing in life, their work, or any other topic your creative mind can come up with?
6- Minimize the hesitation of being vulnerable
![](https://quietmovements.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/portrait-of-a-young-smiling-woman-in-hat-and-shirt-looking-at-camera-isolated-on-a-gra-SBI-302836177.webp)
As introverts are quite empathic and sensitive people, they tend to read and feel others on a much deeper level. But when it comes to sharing their selves, they might hesitate to uncover their inner world. They would want to show their good parts to others to appear favorable to them. But wouldn’t it become draining for you if you put up only the positive persona all the time and couldn’t share your actual self? I mean we all have a bit of a good and bad in us, yin and yang! That’s what makes us humans.
Being introverts, we want honest and deep connections. Small and shallow conversations don’t hold our interest for too long. We would like to be in the company of people who share similar ideas, perspectives, and imaginations as us. We’d love to take them to our wonderland!
So, loosen up the grip on your impression management, And if you have found your soul tribe, give them a tour of your introverted land and show them your original honest self. If you can be truly honest with them, that’s when you know you have created a genuine connection.
To cultivate healthy vulnerability, you may make statements like:
- “I love having deep conversations instead of small talks.”
- “I really appreciate it when you understand my reasons”
- “I don’t feel comfortable on video calls”
- “I had a bad day. Can I rant to you about it?”
- “I want to be honest; I’m being uncomfortable in this conversation.”
Being honestly vulnerable will create a true sense of intimacy in your relationships and help them to thrive.
7- Prefer Quality over quantity focus on meaningful friendships
![](https://quietmovements.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/cheerful-young-friends-laughing-and-giving-high-five-outdoors-SBI-302774692.webp)
Instead of building a vast friendship network, focus on nurturing the quality of your friendships. Because it’s always better to have less genuine friends than a vast number of mere acquaintances. If you’ll try to make multiple friends who do not meet your vibe or can’t meet your needs, you may experience burnout. To save yourself that resentment, it would be better to have a few genuine souls that can connect with you.
As an introvert, I always prefer quality over quantity. I have a limited number of friends but they all get me on another level. It’s like every friend has an aspect you can resonate with. You don’t have to make plenty of friends to find your happiness. Just a few genuine connections who you actually can relate with and find peace with them would suffice!
8- Realize your own potential
![](https://quietmovements.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/young-man-looking-to-the-sunset-over-sea-enjoying-and-relaxing-concept-full-of-unforge-SBI-337503265.webp)
If you think before initiating a conversation with anyone, reflect before creating a bond or you care too deeply about others’ emotions, you don’t have to consider them as your weaknesses. Rather you possess the virtue of being empathic, reflective, and inquisitive nature. You have to realize your potential of introverted nature, because when you know your strengths and values, only then you’d better be able to find and attract your resembling introvert tribe!
Let us know in the comments what points you resonate with and what caught your eye!
![hadiqa](https://quietmovements.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/08/hadiqa.jpg)
Hadiqa Fatima is a clinical psychologist and content writer. She’s been working in field for 3 years and possess a great deal of interest in personality studies. She’s also creating psychological awareness via her content.
I just love the article & and the way things explained.
Being an introvert i can totally relate to that. Looking forwards for more content like this. ❤️
Magnificent thoughts structured wonderfully that put one in the spot where empathy flows towards you in waves.
For someone who has transitioned from being an extrovert to quasi-introversion, the article is spot on.